I saw the guy I’m with masturbate the way he usually does at his home. It isn’t normal and it isn’t something I find as a turn on. I find it weird and idk how to feel. He seemed to enjoy it more than me
I can’t keep saying things are good and pushing things to the side I need to stop being strong for once and find someone to be strong for me. I’m tired. I need this year to be over with so I can just up and leave and start from scratch where I have no option or wait for someone to be who I want them to be.